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January 27, 2003 · 12:00 PM PST ·
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A DISPUTE is looming over Broadway as the Musicians' Union, Local 802, negotiates its new contract. The old one expires in
March and the producers — with whom they dicker — are seeking the right to reduce the sizes of orchestras and, if necessary, rely on
pre-recorded music. This kind of demand won out in Las Vegas a few years back and brought us to the point where all but a few shows there are
performed to taped audio tracks. It's unlikely to happen to that extent on Broadway but any cutback would be a shame.
The union has set up a website which outlines their position, and there's
an online petition you can sign to show your support. Like most online petitions, it's not likely to do much good but it can't do any
harm. Of more import are some short video interviews with musicians, including this nice one with Stephen Sondheim. And I was interested to read a breakdown the union offers
us of how much (or rather, how little) of the ticket prices are due to musicians' salaries. The Producers, for example, charges
up to $100 for a ticket, grosses more than a million bucks a week, but — according to the union — only spends $47 grand a week, plus
change, for the guys in the pit. That works out to three and a half bucks out of every ticket, which is a lot less than I'd have guessed.
Some other shows spend a tad more on musicians and, on a low grosser like the recently-closed Dance of the Vampires, the
cost-per-patron is higher. But on no show is it much more than six bucks. In most cases, you're paying more in handling charges for the
folks who print out your tickets than you are for all those wonderful music makers.
I guess you can tell where my sympathies are on this one.

I AM AMAZED to find this morning no Internet consensus that the debut Jimmy Kimmel Live! was a train wreck. Maybe
there was something there that I missed. I have the TiVo set for all episodes this week and thereafter, even though it means only catching the
first half of Letterman. I hope I can report that I'm enjoying Kimmel more because, as I've said, I think he's one of the freshest comedy
talents to emerge in some time.
AS I MENTIONED here, I still have the original costume that Deidre Hall wore when she played
the senior member of ElectraWoman and DynaGirl. I haven't decided what to do with it yet. I might donate it to a TV museum if one seems
appropriate. I might give it to Ms. Hall if I ever meet her and she seems to want it. I might do a number of things with it.
However, I have decided that I will absolutely not give, rent or loan it to any drag queens who are just dying to see how they look in it. So
you can all stop writing me.
THIS WEEK AND NEXT, I'm doing a whole mess of radio interviews to speak of the book that all the online booksellers fear, Mad Art. I won't bother listing
them all here but don't be surprised if you hear my stammering tones on your Bose. And if you do and they're taking call-ins, call in and ask
me anything. Except whether you can wear the ElectraWoman suit.
January 26, 2003 · 11:00 PM PST ·
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IN 1963, Jerry Lewis launched a two-hour live ABC talk show from the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. The first outing was
a disaster with tech screw-ups, clumsily bleeped words, and a host who was nowhere near as funny as even his most fervent fans thought he would
be. With Jimmy Kimmel Live! — broadcast live on ABC from the El Capitan Theatre — history has repeated itself.
Okay, it isn't the same El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. Jerry's El Capitan was over on Vine. But otherwise, Kimmel's first
outing was the same kind of fiasco. And I say that as someone who thinks Kimmel is usually very funny.
Is it fixable? Of course. And they may well fix it. But the thing which has to have ABC officials removing large
clumps of follicles from their executive scalps is that in no way did their star look like a star. He did not take command of the
proceedings. He did not attempt to build anything out of the wreckage. He did not even look like he belonged there. (His co-host,
Snoop Dogg, sure looked like he wished he wasn't, and the two of them could not have had less rapport.) Conan O'Brien didn't look half that
awkward his first night, and Conan had logged a lot fewer hours in front of TV cameras than Jimmy Kimmel has.
Ted Koppel had the best line of the evening. He launched things by announcing, "There will be no special post-Super Bowl edition
of Nightline tonight so that ABC may bring you the following piece of garbage." If Jimmy Kimmel Live! is going to live, it's
going to require a lot more comedy and a lot less attitude.
And, speaking of Jerry Lewis...


I WAS NEGLIGENT not to note the recent passing of Norman Panama, the comedy writer-producer who racked up so many amazing
credits working with Bob Hope, Danny Kaye, and just about everyone else who was funny in movies in the fifties and sixties. Here's a link to an
obit that recounts just a
tiny bit of what he did, but we at POVonline have to underscore one credit: He co-wrote the musical — on Broadway and the
subsequent film version — of Li'l Abner. We wrote about this here and
here.
Interviewing Mr. Panama for those pieces was a sad, frustrating affair. It had to be done over the phone since he was ill and
"wasn't seeing anyone" and I was warned that his memory came and went, and that it might take four or five calls before I caught him at a moment when
he even recalled doing the show. It took around seven and, even then, almost all he could do was to confirm and slightly expand on anecdotes
I'd obtained elsewhere.
The one thing he did remember was getting Jerry Lewis to do a short, unbilled cameo in the film. Panama told me what I reported
in the article but what he didn't recall just then was that, probably apart from union scale, Jerry was paid a hefty $1.60 for his appearance.
There seems to be no way for me to link to the specific page but if you go to The Official
Jerry Lewis Comedy Museum and Store and hunt about, you'll find a copy of the check (signed by Panama), the invoice, and a cover letter from
Panama's collaborator, Melvin Frank.
Sorry to hear of Mr. Panama's passing, but I have the feeling it was a blessing in its way. He truly had an impressive, superb
career.
January 26, 2003 · 3:00 PM PST ·
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MY SPIES inform me that, yes, Game Show Network is about to air the final network I've Got A Secret from 1967 (Friday
night/Saturday morning) and that they will then go back to 1955 and rerun all the episodes they've run before. That will involve again skipping
over some episodes that do exist in their library but which would require heavy and costly editing before GSN would want to rebroadcast them.
Mostly, this involves the removal of cigarette commercials that (I assume) are integrated into the show itself. God knows we can't have America
watching Winston ads at 4:00 in the morning.
I have no listings for what airs the two nights following the rerun of the last CBS show, but Monday night/Tuesday morn, they're
scheduled to air the 12/2/53 show with special guest George Raft. The next night, they run the 12/23/53 show with guest Paul Hartman, then
that's followed by 10/13/54 with Boris Karloff and 2/2/55 with Ed Sullivan. The debut episode was June 19, 1952 so they're only running about a
half-dozen shows from the program's first three years.
Among those omitted is the episode where the celebrity guest was actor Monty Wooley, whose secret was "I sleep with my beard under the
covers." The panel failed to guess it and, when it was revealed, panelist Henry Morgan asked, "Now, Mr. Wooley, tell us. Do you really
sleep with your beard under the covers?"
Wooley replied — on live TV and referring to the producer of the show — "No, but some damn fool named Allan Sherman told me
to say that."
January 26, 2003 · 10:00 AM PST ·
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I'M NOT TRYING to shove these Dick Van Dyke Show DVDs down your trachea but I thought someone out there would be
interested to know that (as I just found out, watching it) Volume 1 contains an extra, unadvertised bonus. It's the complete Head of the
Family, the unsold pilot Carl Reiner did before The Dick Van Dyke Show. He starred as Rob Petrie (pronounced with a long "e"), head
writer of The Alan Sturdy Show. The whole cast was different and the show wasn't very good. It even has that kind of forgettable
theme music that all unsold pilots of the sixties seemed to have. Fortunately, the premise was later resurrected with Mr. Van Dyke assuming the
role that Reiner had created for himself. That worked out okay.

STAN FREBERG had to move his Manhattan engagement from this coming week to May (info below). But
someone apparently didn't get the message before arranging for a little "welcome." He's 31 across in this morning's New York Times
Magazine crossword puzzle.
WHETHER OR NOT you agree with its point, you may enjoy this article by Monty Python's Terry Jones. It's about Bush's policy
towards Iraq.
I MAY BE one day off on this but it seems like, early this coming Friday morn, Game Show Network's Black and White
Overnight series will air the final network episode of I've Got A Secret. The series took a big hit in the ratings when Garry Moore
departed as host and was replaced by Steve Allen. GSN has been airing shows in sequence (with occasional exceptions) and is nearing the
end. They still have I've Got A Secret listed indefinitely after that, so perhaps they're going back to the beginning and running those
programs again. Hope so.
FOLKS WRITE ME all the time to ask if I know where they can obtain videos of certain antique TV shows. I write back and
tell them to check out the website of my longtime (close to 35 years) friend, Bruce Simon. If Bruce don't got it, no one got it. Here's
his banner ad, and you can order with confidence because he's an honest guy...

January 25, 2003 · 6:00 PM PST ·
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SATURDAY MUSINGS. Several of you have written to inform me that Penn Jillette is not the first person on TV to call John
"Crossing Over" Edward a douche. Apparently, South Park has already made the point. Okay, but it bears repeating.
I FINALLY saw Mad
Art in a bookstore. The huge Bookstar over at La Cienega and Beverly Boulevards had a nice shelf-full. They also had one in the
window, right next to a sign announcing that this store is closing forever on January 30. Maybe that's why Amazon is afraid to have copies.

JIMMY KIMMEL'S new show debuts after the Super Bowl, then starts its regular run on Monday night/Tuesday morn. I have no
real idea how it will do but if forced to guess, I'd say a big first week, and then it'll depend on how much ABC/Disney allows him to get away
with. Kimmel is very funny and he seems to want to make his show as spontaneous as I've long wished Letterman or Leno would try to be. If
he were going into the slot Bill Maher will soon be inhabiting on HBO, I'd predict a very good shot at a very big hit.
Perhaps I'm hesitant because, as long as I've been in the teevee biz, I've heard folks talk about "flow" and how you want to program
back-to-back, shows that are compatible so that each delivers audience to the next. The increase in cable channels and delayed (i.e.,
taped or TiVoed) viewing has somewhat diminished that concept but still, Ted Koppel to Jimmy Kimmel is about as jarring a hand-off as you could
construct. Koppel didn't even want to mention Politically Incorrect, which featured some of the same topics and guests as does
Nightline. Do we think the words, "Stay tuned for Jimmy Kimmel as he welcomes Snoop Dogg" will ever escape Mr. Koppel's lips?
Kimmel's show is live, a decision I assume was made partly because they were worried about ABC affiliates bumping the show to a later
slot. (That was the main reason Saturday Night Live was live — to discourage affiliates from delaying it, as they were doing with
the Carson reruns it replaced.) Live could give the new show a welcome distinction from the carefully-planned hijinks of Dave and Jay —
but if things get too raw, affiliates may be hard-pressed to explain why Maher had to go, but Kimmel remains. Jimmy starts with only about 80%
live clearances and may live or die depending on if that percentage goes up or down.
Before he lost a couple of key stations, Maher was averaging 2.5 million viewers a night in the time slot. It'll be a little
difficult to compare Kimmel's numbers since his show is an hour, and all late night shows experience a drop-off as folks go to bed. (When you
hear that Jay or Dave had a 4 rating, that probably means they had a 5 at the beginning of the show, dropping to a 3 by the end.) It will
further complicate ratings evaluations if Nightline runs over, as it occasionally has. My guess would be that Jimmy Kimmel Live!
will ultimately be judged more by its advertiser support than its ratings. During the time Letterman's numbers were down in the high twos and
low threes, what kept him afloat was that certain sponsors — beer companies, in particular — loved the demos of the audience he
delivered. ABC is saying that they don't expect Kimmel to take much away from Letterman or Leno; that they expect him to bring a new audience
to late night. That may just be talk to lower expectations, but to the extent it's true, it would mean they think he'll sell a lot of Gap jeans
and Budweiser. If he does that, regardless of the numbers, he could have a very long run on ABC. That is, if no one says the "f"
word.
January 25, 2003 · 12:30 AM PST ·
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I REALLY LIKED the first episode of the new Showtime series, Penn & Teller: Bullshit! Each week, they tackle
some con routine for which the unsuspecting and gullible fall. The show commenced with the claim that one can communicate with the dead and did
a good job of nuking that scam. Basically, they demonstrated how a so-called intuitive can employ "cold reading" to extract info from his or
her victim and appear to be divining it from unearthly sources. Those who desperately want to believe — and, Lord, how some do —
will probably remain unconvinced; will probably not even watch Bullshit!, lest it challenge what they know. But it's rather entertaining
to hear Penn call John Edward (the Crossing Over guy, not the senator) the "biggest douche in the universe." About time someone
did. Here's a schedule of when the show airs. My TiVo is set for a
Season Pass.
HERE'S AN ODD SITE. Someone has set up a kind of "shadow government" for Saturday Night Live. It's called
Saturday Night You and it features scripts for SNL written by anyone out there who
wants to submit. The premise is that these people think they can write a better show than what they see on NBC. I have no opinion on how
often they succeed but I will point out the following: To write sketches that do not have to win the favor of producers, cast members and other staff
members to reach the audience is only about eight thousand times easier than what the real Saturday Night Live writers must do each week.
January 24, 2003 · 3:30 PM PST ·
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THIS IS SO FUNNY. For some months now, the weblog community has been abuzz with revelations that the Republicans have been
organizing some very hokey "astroturf" movements. These are campaigns designed to make it look like some point-of-view is originating with The
People and spreading across the land when it is, in fact, being planted by the party leaders. (It's called "astroturf" because it's a
simulation of a genuine "grass roots" movement.)
One of the big weapons in this cause is www.gopteamleader.com, where you can
not only sign up to try and plant news stories and such, you can actually earn points that can be redeemed for caps, t-shirts, etc. For
instance, you get points if you take one of their pre-written letters of support for George W. and e-mail it, via their site, to some local newspaper
that will print it. Dozens of papers have printed letters-to-the-editor which looked like they were studiously composed by average Americans
who took the time to research stats and write about their support for the Republican agenda. In fact, those folks just did a couple of on-line
clicks to send a form letter, and collected those valuable G.O.P. points in the process.
This article over in Slate summarizes the whole process. It
also suggests that Democrats log in and use the site's e-mailing capabilities to send Bush-bashing letters. Let's see how long the Republican
site stays up and allows folks to do this.
January 24, 2003 · 1:00 PM PST ·
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UPDATE: My early-AM posting has already sent Hanna-Barbera fans into a scramble. I am the recipient of fifteen (so far)
e-mails from collectors who ran to their tapes and film prints in search of the longer opening for The Huckleberry Hound Show. No luck,
so far. One fellow wrote, "I am shocked and intrigued. I know the famous (shorter) version of that opening so well, I couldn't believe it
had ever been longer. It's like finding out that your childhood home had an extra room you didn't know about."
That's surely an overstatement but I know how the guy feels. I used to watch Huckleberry Hound every week. It was on
Channel 11 here in Los Angeles at 7PM Tuesday evening. I'm sure I saw the same broadcast Daws recorded. But I came to know the shorter
version and plumb forgot there was a longer one. Earl Kress and I will not rest until we get to the bottom of this.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Mad
Art is currently up to #36,789 in the Amazon rankings, and they still say it's not coming out until December 12, 2002. It is
out. I'm getting e-mails from folks (including a number of the Mad artists chronicled within) who say it's in their neighborhood
shop. It's just the online booksellers who seem to be having problems.
January 24, 2003 · 1:30 AM PST ·
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THE FOLLOWING MYSTERY is intended only for my fellow real, real obsessive fans of Hanna-Barbera cartoons. You normal
people who come here (both of you) can skip what follows.
Okay. The Huckleberry Hound cartoon show debuted in syndication in 1958. I watched it religiously then. My
friend Earl Kress watched it religiously then. We know the show frontwards, backwards and inside-out. We know, for instance, that it was
originally produced with "interstitial segments" — little vignettes of the characters that came between the cartoons. These vignettes are
now semi-lost. Most exist only in black-and-white prints, if they exist at all, and they're rarely seen.
This evening, Earl and I went to listen to an audio file that our chum Joe Bevilacqua has on a page of his website which is devoted to
the late, great Daws Butler. Daws, as we all know, was the voice of Huckleberry Hound and most of the characters on that show, and Earl, Joe
and I were all friends and disciples of the man. On his website (which you can reach here), Joe has posted a Real Audio file of a complete episode of Huckleberry Hound which
includes the interstitials and the Kellogg's cereal commercials. This was transferred from a tape that Daws himself made back in '59, recording
the show off his TV as it was broadcast on KTTV, Channel 11.
Here is a direct link to this recording over on
Joe's site. If you're a fan of Huckleberry Hound and you listen to it, as we are and did, you will notice something amazing. The
opening and closing titles are each thirty seconds longer than the versions we all know. Neither Earl nor I had ever heard these versions
before, and we're supposed to be experts on this stuff. Earl assembled those wonderful CDs of Hanna-Barbera music that Rhino Records released a
few years ago and to do so, he traipsed through the H-B vaults and examined zillions of reels of old tape. He found "lost" versions of songs,
including unheard sessions of the openings to Quick Draw McGraw and The Flintstones. He found the color version of the opening to
The Flintstones (the one with the first theme song) that most folks at H-B had forgotten ever existed. He located many, many lost
treasures...
...but he never found nor heard these longer versions of the Huckleberry Hound themes. I don't recall them, either.
We're both dying to know how and why the trims were made and — more important — what on-screen animation was trimmed. (If the songs
are each 30 seconds longer, the animation was 30 seconds longer.)
Does anyone out there know anything about this? Does anyone have an old 16mm print of a Huckleberry Hound show that has an
opening that runs around one minute and fifteen seconds, as opposed to the 45 second version that's been around for decades? (There were
actually two 45 second versions — one with the Kellogg's rooster dancing and prancing about a circus setting and a later one where Huck himself
did all those things. We're looking for a longer version with the rooster.) We're guessing no one at Hanna-Barbera — or its
successor-in-interest, The Cartoon Network — knows there even were longer versions.
This may not seem of vital importance to some of you — yeah, like anything on this website, including the political stuff, is
— but this show was a key component to many childhoods, including ours. We can't be the only folks who are stunned to learn that we've
been remembering a trimmed version of the opening and closing to one of our favorite shows. If you have any info on this, please let us
know.
January 23, 2003 · 1:30 AM PST ·
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THIS IS THE SECOND rave recommendation I've posted here for the statuary of Electric Tiki — and here once again is the
link to their site. This feminine figurine is of Jingle Belle,
the popular character created by Paul Dini. The impish Ms. Belle is the daughter of a portly gent who resides at the North Pole, making up
lists of who's naughty and nice, and bestowing gifts accordingly. Paul's comics, which come from Oni Press, are a load of fun. So is the Jingle Belle
website. And this peachy new sculpture of Jingle B. (complete with ornament) is mandatory if you're to have The Complete Jingle Belle
Experience. Order at least one now.

THE COMIC BOOK LEGAL DEFENSE FUND has been aiding cartoonist Stuart Helm in his battle against a lawsuit filed by Kraft
Foods. For years, Helm signed his work "King VelVeeda," and Kraft finally decided this was an infringement on their trademark. They have
this alleged cheese called "Velveeta" and...well, you get the picture. After many months of headaches and legal expenses, Helm and Kraft have
settled out of court with the artist agreeing to change his pen name. Here's the C.B.L.D.F. press release about it — and I must say that, though I am a fervent supporter of this most
necessary institution and will continue to support it, I think the C.B.L.D.F. went astray on this one. There is no threat to my Free Speech if
I am unable to market my work under a name that sounds a lot like someone else's trademark.
Yes, I know it's a parody. And if someone was putting out a Mad Magazine style ad spoofing Velveeta, and Kraft sued, that
would be worth going to the mat over. But I don't buy the notion, expressed in the press release, that Helm was censored, any more than I'm
being censored because I can't publish my own Star Wars comics. The folks at Kraft were being needlessly, almost inanely protective but
I don't see this as a First Amendment threat.
For emphasis: I still wholeheartedly support the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund and think it's vital to have them there, fighting the
good fight. I just don't think this was a good fight.


2003 is the 25th anniversary of Jim Davis's ravenous cat, and there are some nice freebees over on the Garfield website. There's a screen saver that shows how the feline has evolved over the years. You can
download it or just view it online at this address. I would recommend doing
at least the latter, as it's kind of jazzy and fun. There are also Garfield answering machine messages which you can download (or just listen
to, online) available over here. Yes, that's the voice of the late,
lovely Lorenzo Music and, yes, we still miss him.
January 22, 2003 · 6:00 PM PST ·
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ARE YOU SICK of getting those e-mails from Nigerian nephews who want to cut you in on their uncle's 38 million dollars? I
sure am, so I delete them without reading them. If you do this, you may miss this parody that is now
making the rounds. Very funny.
January 22, 2003 · 3:30 PM PST ·
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BILL MAULDIN, the great military and political cartoonist, has died at the age of 81. Here's a link to a full news story about him.
January 22, 2003 · 3:00 PM PST ·
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FREBERG JUST CALLED to say that his New York gig has finally been rescheduled. An Evening With Stan Freberg (and
his magnificent spouse, Hunter) will now take place May 20-24 at Feinstein's at the Regency — one show, Tuesday through Thursday evenings; two
shows, Friday and Saturday. Reservations and further info are available by calling (212) 339-4095. As before, you are warned that
Feinstein's only seats 140 people, so booking soon might not be the dumbest thing you ever did. The dumbest would involve missing this chance
to see a truly witty man sing and tell stories from his amazing career.
January 22, 2003 · 10:15 AM PST ·
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IF YOU'RE discussing or even mulling matters of tax fairness — before or after the current Bush proposals — you need
to look at this chart. It ran in this
morning's New York Times and it shows that, basically, the tax burden as it currently stands on Americans is flat. Taking into account
things like property taxes, payroll taxes and sales taxes, poor Americans are paying about the same percentage of their income to the government as
are wealthy Americans.
Assuming this chart is correct: If you think Bill Gates should pay the same percentage of his income to Uncle Sam that you do, then
fine. That's pretty much what we already have. If you believe in "progressive" taxation — meaning that the rich should pay a little
higher percentage — then the current plan from the White House is moving towards the opposite goal.
January 22, 2003 · 12:00 AM PST ·
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THIS IS THE FIRST of several rave recommendations of the sculptures being manufactured by a company called Electric Tiki —
and let me give you the link to their website right now: www.electrictiki.com. A
fellow named Tracy Mark Lee started it not long ago and he's already issued a number of lines of must-own statues of comic book, TV and fantasy
characters. My old pal Richie Rich is part of the Harvey Comics line, which also includes several others currently
residing in my display case — Richie's girl friend Gloria and Jackie
Jokers (both above), f'rinstance. You can see the photos over at
their site, along with others they have, like terrific sculpts of the heroines of I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched. But take it
from me: They look even better in person.
There's also a wonderful statue of my pal Paul Dini's popular Jingle Belle. But I'll save that recommendation for another
time.

I JUST FOUND a very handy Vegas site. It's
www.vegasphotoguide.com and it has loads of photos of hotel rooms and pool areas in Las Vegas, so you can see the kind of place you're booking
before you book it. They also have floor plan layouts of most of the major casinos and seating charts of many of the showrooms. Extremely
useful.
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is available at any comic book shop with a lick of sense. This scintillating collection of Evanier's POV columns features amusing
pictures by Sergio Aragonés and bizarre articles about the history of comics and the world of comic book fandom. If your store is
senseless, you can order a copy over at the website for TwoMorrows Publishing or
from Amazon.Com. You'll be glad you
did...or, at the very least, I will be.
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Click here to read the previous NEWS FROM ME
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