BLOOM QUICKLY WHIPS THE CONTRACT OUT OF HIS POCKET, PRODUCES A PEN, HANDS THEM TO BIALYSTOCK. BIALYSTOCK SPREADS THE CONTRACT OUT ON THE TABLE BEFORE LIEBKIND.

BIALYSTOCK

Here, sign here, Franz Liebkind. And make your dream a reality.

HE HANDS LIEBKIND THE PEN. LIEBKIND REFUSES IT.

LIEBKIND

Wait. No. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you vill present this play in the manner and spirit in vhich it vas conceived?

BIALYSTOCK

We swear it!

LIEBKIND

Not good enough... Vould you be villing to take the Siegfried oath?

BIALYSTOCK

Yes. We would!

INSERT: CLOSE-UP BLOOM. HE LOOKS WORRIED.

LIEBKIND

Good. I will make the preparations.

LIEBKIND LEAVES THE ROOM.

BLOOM

     (anxious whisper)
Max, I don't want to take any Siegfried Oath. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to take it. We might end up in the German Army.

BIALYSTOCK

Shut up, you idiot. He's a harmless nut. Play along with him. It's almost in the bag.

LIEBKIND ENTERS. HE IS LADEN DOWN WITH ALL SORTS OF RITUALISTIC PARAPHERNALIA. LIEBKIND PLACES ALL THE STUFF ON THE TABLE. WITHOUT A WORD TO THEM, HE GOES TO PHONOGRAPH. IN A FEW SECONDS WE HEAR THE OPENING STRAINS OF WAGNER'S "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES." AS THE MUSIC BOOMS LOUDER, LIEBKIND ADDRESSES THEM.

LIEBKIND

Please to don your helmets.

FROM THE TABLE THEY TAKE CLASSIC WAGNERIAN HELMETS (WITH HORNS) AND PLACE THEM ON THEIR HEADS.

LIEBKIND

Please to light your candles.

THEY EACH TAKE A HUGE WHITE CANDLE FROM THE TABLE AND LIGHT IT. LIEBKIND FLICKS THE LIGHT SWITCH. NOW THEY ARE IN THE DARK EXCEPT FOR THE GLOW OF THEIR CANDLES.

LIEBKIND

Please repeat after me. I solemnly swear...

BIALYSTOCK AND BLOOM

I solemnly swear...

LIEBKIND

By the sacred memory...

BIALYSTOCK AND BLOOM

By the sacred memory...

LIEBKIND

Of Siegfried...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

Of Siegfried...

LIEBKIND

Wagner...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

Wagner...

LIEBKIND

Nietzche...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

Nietzche...

LIEBKIND

Bismark...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

Bismark...

LIEBKIND

Hindenburg...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

Hindenburg...

LIEBKIND

The Graf Spee...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

The Graf Spee...

LIEBKIND

The Blue Max...

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

The Blue Max...

LIEBKIND

And last, but not least, Adolph...you know who.

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

And last, but not least, Adolph...you know who.

LIEBKIND

     (saluting)
Heil you know who!

BIALYSTOCK & BLOOM

     (spiritlessly saluting)
Heil you know who!

LIEBKIND

Good. Good. Now ve sign the contract.

BIALYSTOCK

Good. Good.
     (he hands Liebkind the pen)

LIEBKIND

No. No. Not in ink. We'll desecrate the oath. It must be done in blood.

CUT TO BLOOM'S FACE. IT IS A SILENT OI.

LIEBKIND

Fingers, please.

BIALYSTOCK AND BLOOM EXTEND THEIR FOREFINGERS AND LOOK THE OTHER WAY. LIEBKIND PRICKS THEM WITH THE SACRED SAFETY PIN AND SQUEEZES A FEW DROPS OF BLOOD FROM EACH INTO THE SACRED VESSEL (A JAR COVER). HE DOES THE SAME WITH HIS OWN FINGER.

LIEBKIND

Ve vill sign vit this sacred qvill taken from the last chicken I served at Berchtesgarten.

LIEBKIND SIGNS. "THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" REACHES ITS ZENITH. IT ECHOES THROUGH THE ROOM AS WE FADE OUT.

...and Bialystock begins romancing little old ladies to raise money.